(before going back into employment 😂)
Over the last 12 months I’ve been on a professional journey, leaving a well-respected corporate role, going freelance and then joining one my freelance clients full time.
I knew I would learn a lot professionally by going freelance. I did not realise I would learn so much about myself, and have so many “OH SH**, it’s NOT them, it’s ME!” realisations.
It’s Not The Company, It’s Me
It’s easy to blame the company you work for, when you’re unhappy with your day / job / career / progress.
I often blamed “the corporate machine” when progress was slow.
I blamed “the machine” when I worked late into the evenings editing excel models or formatting presentations because we didn’t have the right tools off the shelf.
When I worked for myself, I couldn’t blame “the machine”. If:
- the systems didn’t work
- a mistake was made
- I didn’t have the right research data
I could only look inward to find the root of the problem. Turns out, I am often the source of my work woes.
If something is badly organised, it’s probably within my power to improve it, corporate machine or no corporate machine. If an excel model is difficult to manipulate, perhaps I need to improve my skills. Instead, I used to think “someone else didn’t set this up properly”.
It was important to realise that, sometimes, I am the problem.
It’s Not The Company, It’s Just Work
Sometimes it’s not the company you work for. Instead I realised that some obligations of work, are just a bit rubbish.
I’m sure the old saying “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” has some truth in it. I’m sure there are some people who love what they do so much that every tiresome admin-y task is a delight. However, I also believe those people are rare.
Since I went freelance (and now working for a small company I love) I am, undoubtedly, the happiest I’ve ever been. But there are still some days that are just a bit crap!
Some days are filled with “no’s” and canceled meetings. Other days I’m simply in a bad mood.
I used to to blame this on someone else: “the corporation”, “the machine”, “pointless internal meetings”.
Now, I can only point to myself.
It’s fascinating to know, without a single doubt, that I’m doing the right thing professionally and yet sometimes to have a grumpy day at work.
One positive is: if I am the cause of the grumpy days, then I also have the power to overcome these days.
I used to look outward to solve these bad days. I felt there must be A Cause, a person or situation to blame. Now (most of the time…) I look internally to see if there’s something I can do about my mood myself.
And the rest of the time I have an amazing team who help lift me back up.
I Had to Back Myself, First
I spent ages (close to 2 years) contemplating leaving my cushty corporate job thinking “I can’t leave until I have something else in the pipeline”
People often talk about “minimising the downside” so I thought I had to have paid work in the pipeline to leave to.
Some people manage to do this, but I didn’t.
As soon as I left, however, I was approached with consultancy projects and opportunities for part-time work. They never approached me before, when I was in full time employment.
Instead, I minimised my risk by reducing my living costs and saving aggressively so I had a 2-year runway. This gave me the freedom to choose roles that I found most interesting and with lovely, talented people.
Ultimately it was what led me back into employment. I would never have been introduced to my current company if I hadn’t quit my last, cold turkey.
All I’ve ever wanted is to work for a small, entrepreneurial company who were changing the future of real estate. I couldn’t find one (or at least I couldn’t find one that wanted to employ me too!)
It turned out that I had to show those visionary, entrepreneurial, scrappy companies that I had the self-confidence to take on (calculated) risk. I had to show them that I too, had a vision of a better world, that we could build together. And that I was willing to risk my job status, role and salary on that vision.
Ultimately, ironically, going freelance made me appreciate my time at a big corporate so much. It made me realise how many amazing life-long industry friends I had met. How many new hobbies I took up because of it (long-distance cycling, triathlons, blogging!) and, of course, how many professional skills I learned.
Thank you, Big Machine.
People | Spaces | Places 